Introducing the N1 Cognitive Implant

We did agent analytics.
Now we are doing human analytics.

After 8 months monitoring AI agents, we traced 91% of failures back to humans. So we stopped fixing the software. And started fixing the wetware.

N1 COGNITIVE
Root Cause Analysis · 2024–2025
91%

of AI agent failures trace back to a human decision.

Not a model hallucination. Not a retrieval miss. Not a bad prompt. A human decision that created the conditions for failure — and we have the data to prove it.

4.2gImplant Weight
0.3msNeural Latency
847On-Device Models
23mmDiameter
1,024Neural Electrodes
45minProcedure Time
0Friday Deploys
91%Human Failure Rate
4.2gImplant Weight
0.3msNeural Latency
847On-Device Models
23mmDiameter
1,024Neural Electrodes
45minProcedure Time
0Friday Deploys
91%Human Failure Rate
The Device

N1 — Precision at
23 millimetres.

Grade 4 titanium. Iridium electrode contacts. On-device inference only. Designed to last a lifetime — yours, not the product cycle.

AGNOST NEURAL N1 COGNITIVE SN: AGN-01-2026 23mm / 3.2mm
23mm
Diameter
3.2mm
Profile
4.2g
Weight
Grade 4 Titanium Shell
Medical-grade · Biocompatible · MRI-safe up to 3T
Purple Telemetry Ring
LED status indicator · Bluetooth 5.3 LE · Wireless charging
1,024 Iridium Electrodes
0.3ms neural latency · PEDOT:PSS coating · Sub-threshold stimulation
NF-7 Neural Processor
847 on-device models · 4nm process · Air-gapped inference
Sapphire Optical Window
Optogenetic channel · 470nm / 589nm · Future firmware unlock
45-Minute Outpatient Procedure
Local anaesthesia · Robotic precision · Zero reported complications in closed trial
Capabilities

What the N1 monitors.

Six cognitive functions. Real-time intervention. Sub-perceptual correction.

🧠

Meeting Hallucination Detection

Cross-references your verbal statements against your company's actual data. When you say "we're on track" and JIRA says otherwise, you feel a gentle pulse behind the ear. Your board thanks you for your honesty.

💬

Slack Intent Classification

"Let's circle back" = INTENT: ABANDON. "I'll look into it" = INTENT: FORGET IN 180 SECONDS. The N1 prompts you to type what you actually mean. Radical honesty, neurologically enforced.

🚫

Friday Deploy Prevention

Detects "just ship it" neural patterns after 5 PM Friday. Activates a targeted motor interrupt in the index finger. You physically cannot click merge. Your on-call engineer sleeps through the weekend.

📝

Prompt Tampering Intervention

When you open the production system prompt for the 15th time this week, the N1 induces a brief state of acceptance and redirects motor pathways toward "close tab." The prompt stays unchanged.

Neural Intervention

It sees the mistake
before you make it.

EEG signal classification in real time. Anomaly detected, flagged, and corrected — sub-perceptually. You feel a gentle pulse. You pause. You don't send the bad Slack message.

Neural Signal — Prefrontal Cortex · Ch. 7 N1 ACTIVE
Baseline
Nominal
Anomaly
Detected
Intervention
Corrected
Closed Trials

90 days. 12 humans.
All PMs.

The engineers refused to go first. We respect that.

67%
Meeting hallucination rate
↓ down
4x
Slack intent accuracy
↑ improved
0
Friday deploys in trial group
↓ from 3.2/week
1.2
Prompt changes per week
↓ from 14.3
3
Relationships saved
self-reported

"I tried to tell the board we were 'ahead of plan' and my left ear buzzed. I paused and said 'we're tracking close to plan with some risks.' The board appreciated the candor. I appreciated not being wrong in front of 8 people."

Trial Participant 07 — VP Product, [Redacted]
Pricing

One brain. Three tiers.

N1 Standard
Individual
"For people who make bad decisions alone."
$49,000
ONE-TIME · IMPLANT INCLUDED
  • 1,024 iridium electrodes
  • Prefrontal anomaly detection
  • Friday deploy suppression
  • Bluetooth 5.3 telemetry ring
  • 45-min outpatient procedure
  • Multi-user sync
  • Board meeting mode
  • Executive override
N1 Pro
Team
"For managers of people who make bad decisions."
$89,000
PER SEAT · ANNUAL FIRMWARE UPDATES
  • Everything in Standard
  • Cross-device neural sync
  • Meeting intent classifier
  • Slack toxicity dampener
  • Board meeting mode (beta)
  • Roadmap hallucination filter
  • Priority implant scheduling
  • Executive override
N1 Enterprise
Organisation
"For companies that have structurally accepted mediocrity."
Custom
VOLUME · PROCUREMENT TEAM REQUIRED
  • Everything in Pro
  • Executive override capability
  • Org-wide decision analytics
  • Compliance mode (EU AI Act)
  • Dedicated neural ops team
  • SLA: 0.3ms intervention guarantee
  • Annual "Brain Summit" invite
  • On-prem inference option

All prices in USD. Includes device, procedure, and first-year firmware licence.
HSA/FSA eligible pending FDA clearance (currently: pending).
Insurance coverage: ask your provider. Most say no. We understand.

Join the waitlist.

First 1,000 signups get priority implant scheduling and a complimentary "I Fixed My Hallucinations" tee.

2,847 humans on the waitlist. Mostly PMs.

April Fools

Just kidding. Happy April Fools! 🎉

The brain implant is not real. The 91% stat, the broken AI agents, and the product managers who can't stop changing prompts — all very real. But no one's getting a chip behind their ear. Probably.

Happy April Fools.

The brain implant is a joke.

The broken AI agents are very, very real.

Agnost is self-healing infrastructure for AI agents in production. We detect failures in real time, diagnose root cause, and deploy fixes automatically. Three lines of code. Sub-200ms latency. That part wasn't a joke.

Visit the real Agnost →